How does talking to people help?
- It brings relief
Putting your thoughts and feelings into words is a good way of sorting out between unwanted vs necessary ones. There is medication for headaches, flu, fever, etc. For bottled thoughts and feelings, there is talking.
Shalini from Delhi, lost her husband to Covid. Taking care of her 4 year old daughter along with working full time to make ends meet was more than exhausting. Her in-laws were devastated and her parents were too old to be there. With no one to discuss her issues and feelings with, she began feeling depressed and angry.
Beginning to lose hope, her only motivation to live was her daughter. Then one day, at a society event, she met a woman who appeared to be older than her and needed help with her phone. Shalini offered to assist and also got into a conversation where she discovered that the woman had lost her husband to cancer a few years ago.
One topic led to another and they soon exchanged phone numbers. Shalini was relieved to find and talk to someone who had gone through same challenges and she could share her thoughts and feelings with her when required.
2. Gives you information
Today, there are too many ways to get information you want. However, nothing compensates for talking to someone who can give you real details of their experiences or learnings. If you engage in talking with someone, your chances of getting information from them is higher.
Filtering the knowledge you want to keep and the ones you want to discard is up to you after the conversation ends.
Sunil got a 2 month old puppy home. With no prior experience of keeping a pet, he soon found himself overwhelmed with the caring needs of the little pup. While google was very helpful to find answers when he needed but talking to friends who had dogs was way better in getting real, first-hand information.
3. Leads to new solutions
Imagine a life with no problems. You’ll be bored to death.
Since we can’t escape from them, the best way to find better solutions is by talking to someone. You’ll get a new or better perspective plus a guaranteed release of stress.
Aisha was about to turn 30 and was stressed because her family was constantly insisting on getting her married. She loved her work and feared that marriage might take away the freedom to pursue her goals. Dating apps did not give her much hope and arranged marriage was not her thing.
A colleague had just got married and Aisha decided to talk to her. Her colleague not only reassured her by addressing her fears, but also suggested her to sign up on Aurhum to start with making new friends. This could be a start to discovering a like-minded partner and developing a relationship before jumping to date.
4. Creates connection
Sending a friend request or follow request on Social media may be called a connection in today’s world. That’s great.
What really makes you connect is a conversation. It’s easier to bond with someone by talking. The joy of connecting & making new friends is one of life’s great rewards. And by connecting with others, you become more empathetic.
Tarun’s story highlights the importance of a connection. Due to the Covid pandemic, his company laid him off, among hundreds of others. He was 28 with a dependent mom. For 2 months he spent all his efforts on polishing his resume, sending emails, connections on LinkedIn, applying on job portals, commenting on job posts, talking to recruiting agencies and praying.
Fortunately, interview opportunities knocked his door but he did not get appointed for a desired role. One weekend, at a friend’s birthday, he met a senior manager working at a Big 4. An engaging conversation helped establish a connection and by the end of the party, Tarun had the senior manager’s email address to send his resume for an available post.
That connection became a milestone in Tarun’s life because he not only landed a job in an esteemed organisation, but also got the direction to work hard and get promoted to higher ranks.
5. Challenges you
Conversations expose you to a variety of opinions. Sometimes a need to defend those opinions will help you to fully realise them or discard them.
Challenges give you an excellent chance to grow.
Priya was having a hard time deciding if she wanted to stay in India or move to Canada. She had been contemplating for more than a year and family & friends had stopped giving their opinion to respect her decision making.
Leaving India meant adopting a completely different lifestyle without any support, making huge adjustments and leaving her comfort zone. While opportunities in Canada looked promising and well paying. Eagerly looking for direction, she got in touch with an ex-classmate(hadn’t spoken to her for years) who had moved 2 years ago.
Her classmate not only helped her with advise, but challenged her to think about what she wanted with her life in the long-term. Turns out, moving to Canada was a better choice for Priya because of the upcoming opportunities in her field of work and exposure to international markets. She moved.
6. Discover new things
In a world of ignored advertising, conversation is often the best place to discover things with merit. This may include new movies, activities to try, or tasty foods.
I had been struggling to find the right channel to market my services(AurHum). I had previously worked at marketing products for a different age group: 30 years and older.
A conversation with a school friend brought to my notice that Snapchat is where the younger audience is. Since she was also a user, she helped me understand how it works and how could I benefit from using it.
7. Helps you learn and grow
There’s plenty of sources to learn from, but talking lets you ask and answer questions and explore things you might not know about. Getting access to a wide range of ideas & experiences, conversations get you to think beyond yourself.
I personally take this very seriously. Every person I meet or have met in the past has taught me something. Things like: how to behave, what to say in a negotiation, what to not say to your manager or colleague, how marriages work, what works when asking for a salary hike, etc.
These have certainly helped me grow as an individual. My personal learnings would not be relevant to you, however, I urge you to find your own set of sources(people) to learn from by keeping an open mind.
It’s important to note that what worked for someone may not necessarily work for you. Hence, having filters customised to your lifestyle and mindset is a must.
Talking to people and hearing their stories, you learn a lot.
To talk to people like yourself, sign up on AurHum or see Upcoming talks.
